This will not be your typical “take care of yourself, you deserve it” self-care blog. Don’t get me wrong, life’s little luxuries are fantastic: a massage, a cappuccino with a fancy art design, a bubble bath with candles, a mani-pedi, or spending a lazy day on the couch binge-watching shows… all great ways to relax and recharge. And yes, you definitely deserve it.
But here’s the thing: we often stop there when it comes to self-care. The truth is, self-care is much deeper than indulgences. For a truly healthy and meaningful life, we need to look at the less glamorous, but essential moments of self-care — the ones that aren’t always Instagrammable, but that can make a huge difference in how we feel day-to-day.
So, What Exactly is Self-Care?
According to the Oxford Dictionary, self-care is defined as:
- “The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.”
- “The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, especially during periods of stress.”
Self-care means different things for different people, but at its core, it’s about checking in with yourself, meeting your needs, and doing what it takes to stay healthy — physically, mentally, and emotionally. You can’t deal with stress (or anything else) if you’re running on empty. Simple as that.
So, the next time you have a mini-meltdown over something totally minor, or snap at someone for no real reason, remind yourself: “Self-care is not selfish. It’s necessary.” If you neglect your own well-being, you’re setting yourself up for burnout, anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems down the line.
And a quick side note: self-care is your responsibility. It’s up to us to make time for the things that help us feel our best. Sorry, not sorry.
A Brief History of Self-Care
Let’s take a quick detour and talk about how self-care became such a “thing” in modern culture. The idea of self-care has actually been around for centuries. Look back to Ancient Greece, and you’ll see a culture that celebrated luxury and pleasure. For example, Dionysus, the god of wine and ecstasy, knew how to enjoy life.
But more seriously, self-care also has deep roots in the Feminist and Civil Rights movements, where people of color and women fought for ownership of their bodies and health. The idea that we have the right to take care of ourselves is powerful.
In more recent history, health professionals have continued to emphasize self-care for those recovering from illness or dealing with mental health challenges. In fact, there’s even an International Self-Care Day (July 24) to raise awareness about the importance of taking care of yourself to stay healthy and prevent illness.
In the last few decades, though, the term “self-care” has become somewhat skewed. Instead of being about meeting basic needs, it started to get tied to overindulgence and expensive treatments. (I’m looking at you, Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP.) Self-care started to look more like a luxury than a necessity.
In 2017, self-care was a $10 billion industry. Social media didn’t help either — platforms like Instagram have made self-care something you “show off,” not just do. With apps dedicated to mindfulness and wellness, it’s clear that the idea of self-care is here to stay — but we need to make sure we’re still focused on the essentials, not just the “treat yourself” culture.
Let’s Get Back to the Essentials of Self-Care
Alright, now that we’ve talked about the importance of self-care, let’s break down the key areas where it matters most.
You might think, “I’ve got a great job, I run every day, and I eat healthy… so why am I still miserable?” Well, maybe it’s because you’re neglecting other aspects of your wellness — like relationships or emotional health. Self-care isn’t just about physical well-being; it’s about balance across all areas of your life.
Here’s what to focus on:
- Your Body (Your Temple)
Physical self-care is about more than just exercise — it’s about making sure your body gets what it needs to function well. This includes moving your body, eating healthy, sleeping enough, and giving yourself proper rest.
If you’re feeling sluggish all the time, your mental health is likely suffering, too. Remember: Action begets motivation. Start small — maybe set a goal to walk 10 minutes a day, or shut down electronics an hour before bed to improve your sleep.
- Your Relationships
Having strong, healthy relationships is key to maintaining mental health. We are hardwired for connection, whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert. Loneliness increases symptoms of anxiety and depression, so it’s important to stay connected.
When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to isolate yourself, but pushing through that urge to stay in your comfort zone and reaching out to someone can really make a difference. Schedule coffee with a friend, join a book club, or even go to a party (gasp!). Find your balance — connection is essential.
- Your Mind
Mental stimulation is just as important as physical health. Keep your brain engaged by learning something new, challenging yourself, or picking up an old hobby you once enjoyed. It could be learning a language, joining a recreational sports team, reading a new book, or trying a brain-boosting app.
Your mind needs exercise just like your body does — keep it active!
- Your Soul
This one’s a biggie. Soul-care is about finding a deeper connection with yourself and understanding what you truly need and want in life. It could mean finding a spiritual practice, pursuing your passions, or just giving yourself the space to connect with your inner self.
When you nourish your soul, it helps you cope with life’s challenges a lot easier. Take time to reflect: what makes you feel fulfilled? What brings you joy?
- Your Emotions
We all experience difficult emotions, but often, we try to shove them down. Shame, guilt, embarrassment… these feelings don’t just disappear by ignoring them. In fact, they often lead to more stress and physical tension.
Emotional self-care means allowing yourself to feel the full range of emotions, and embracing them as part of the human experience. This doesn’t mean wallowing in negativity, but practicing mindfulness to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. When you can do that, you’ll be better able to cope with the ups and downs of life.
It’s Time to Prioritize Self-Care
Self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself with expensive treatments or Instagram-worthy moments (though those can be fun, too!). It’s about taking a holistic approach to your well-being — mind, body, soul, and relationships.
So go ahead: Try a new hobby, spend more time with loved ones, take that walk in nature, reduce your caffeine intake, or even pamper yourself with a bubble bath. You’ve got this. And remember: self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for your health and happiness.
Mandybur, Jerico, Feb 2018, www.girlboss.com, “Self-Care 101: Where Did It Even Come From?”
Harris, Aisha, April 2017, www.slate.com, “A History Of Self-Care”
Gobin, Robyn L, 2019, Althea Press, California, “The Self-Care Prescription”
Boyle, Sarah, 2018 (?), www.slate.com, “Remembering The Origins Of The Self-Care Movement”
The Editors of Encyclopaedia Brittanica, www.brittanica.com, “Dionysus: Greek Mythology”
Ali, Shainna, Jan 2019, www.psychologytoday.com, “Is Self-Care just a Trend?”
Silva, Christianna, June 2017, www.npr.org, “The Millennial Obsession with Self-Care”
Meltzer, Marisa, Dec 2016, http://www.nytimes.com, “Soak, Steam, Spritz: It’s All Self-Care”
